Wearing Out
I am so super exhausted. I am aiming to be asleep by 8:30, which I could probably fall asleep before then. Going to the lock-in last weekend was not a smart decision on my part. I haven't caught up from sleep, and I have been super worn out and not feeling all that great. It took a lot to force me out of bed this morning. If it was just any regular semester with classes I would have slept in...of course then I wouldn't have to wake up at the latest 6am in order to barely make it to school on time.
Today went well though. By the time I taught I had eaten a couple times during the day and got some more strength in me. I have been super hungry this week, so I started taking extra food to eat during my "lunch" time (10am) and then I eat my sandwich and crackers while on lunch duty. Then I finished whatever else I might have had during planning time. Okay, enough about food.
My lesson today went much better than yesterday. Although it wasn't wonderful, it was definitely better. I'm slowly learning that some days are good, and some days are bad. Sometimes it's the teacher, and some times its the kids. And you just have to be flexible and work on your toes. We had another packet of Math worksheets, and this time I got them on transparencies to work through it with everyone at once. That went so much better than trying to wait for students to work on their own pace and keep everyone together. We had about 15 minutes for science, which was just enough time to demonstrate and get the students started. They are so excited about science and what we are doing that it is sooo easy to loose management of the students. And by the end of the day I was so worn out and tired I didn't feel like fighting it. My teacher luckily chimed in a few times to manage them and keep them under control. Not good on my part, but welcomed. We had talked about her chiming in for that during planning period. She had apologized for doing it, and I told her that it is completely fine with me. Because right now while learning how classroom management works I get easily frazzled when the students are louder than I talk and I feel as if I have lost control then loose my train of thought.
Today was pretty hard mainly because physically I wasn't up to the challenge. I'm hoping since I am going to bed super soon that tomorrow I will be feeling better and can do a much better job. I also need to come up with the lesson for small group tomorrow night. I really need to spend more time praying and talking to God about all that I am doing this semester. I am feeling very overloaded and am thinking I need to start cutting some things out of my schedule this semester to save my sanity. I would hate to cut anything out, because my heart is in everything I am dedicated to right now . . . BUT I also need to consider my health and the fact that I am trying to learn something that I enjoy and want to do the rest of my life (teaching) and I really don't need any extra things keeping me from performing and learning at my full potential. I'll hopefully have it all figured out by the end of this week. They have advised us several times with student teaching to not have any jobs or volunteer jobs this semester during student teaching, and I am now seeing that wisdom bright and clear. And each week is only going to get more challenging as I add another subject each week and more time that I take over as the teacher each week.
Please pray for my health and for wisdom and guidance with trying to figure out if I can do extra stuff outside of school, or if I need to back away from some of the things I am doing this semester.
Posted in: on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at at 5:45 PM
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