The fear of more heartache, pain, and suffering.

I think Angela Thomas describes this wonderfully by saying, "For every relationship in a woman's life, there is an opportunity for heartache."

This can happen with a significant other, friend or family. I have suffered this recently and still struggle now with trying to figure out which friends I have that I can truly trust. When trust is broken by pain someone has brought, I am cautious in thinking if I should re-open that trust or move on. And sadly, with something one person did, I question the others in my life, and try to figure out if they would do the same, or if I can continue trust them. I have had to deal with someone every couple years that I feel betrays our friendship. The past times I even re-opened those friendships, but quit after the second time of getting hurt. This time, it will take a long time if this friendship will ever be opened again.

My lesson I have learned from this is to let time be the test. I am usually very fast in trusting another person. I do not like assuming the worst, but when it comes to something that affects not only you, but those you love, caution needs to be taken. I do not like this lesson, one for getting hurt before I learn it, and two having to be cautious now before I trust someone to be a good friend. I need to let time show that they will be a true friend.

I think I will also start praying for God's discernment with people, for the knowledge to know who I can let into my life more than an acquaintance. The knowledge to read people's motives better, and to know the kind of person they are.
I am looking forward to putting this plan into action and seeing the friendships that will bloom. And I pray that God will soften my heart and be open to the people he puts in my life.

I have to praise God for the close friends that I know I can trust. One I talk to every day, and although I had my heart broken by him this time last year, God has worked in both of our lives, and I am grateful for how much closer we are now, and I think part of that has to do with the heartache endured by both of us before. Another I go to to talk about my spiritual life, and life in general. I love learning from her, and she is such a joy to be around. Constantly challenging me and lifting me up. I pray I do the same for her. My favorite times are when we have prayed together. And I've got numerous of good friends in other towns that I adore. People who God has put in my life at the perfect time and who have consistently been here for me, and I them. I love friendships where you know no matter what time of night you can wake each other up in a time of crisis or heartache.

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